Falling in love is easy. Getting your heart broken is also easy. But do you know what’s the hard part in this process of falling in and out of love? It’s not enduring the pain, but getting rid of the memories of that person you love.
This is because the memories never go away. Once you form them, they remain in your heart. They may be overwritten by new experiences and exciting feelings, but you can easily draw them out again when you feel nostalgic. Yes, they know how to stay, both in your heart, mind, and soul.
Indeed, memories cannot be erased, but you can still forget. This doesn’t mean getting rid of the memories altogether, but rather wiping away the emotions that come with these recollections. But how do you such a thing?
Here are 6 ways that will help you forget someone you love and heal the pain that comes from the past:
1. Create new, meaningful experiences.
This may be the hardest to do, but it’s actually easier than expected. Indeed, it can be haunting to visit the places or do the activities that you and your former significant other used to do. However, it’s not the end of the world once you two have broken up.
And these things –the ones you used to share, still exist.
Hence, you cannot just avoid them all the time because they remind you of the past. You’re only depriving yourself of the fun and excitement that these things offer if you try to experience them again. Instead, revel in their wonders together with the people that matter to you the most.
Visit those memorable destinations with your family and friends. Take pictures together, eat meals as a group, and enjoy all other activities as a team. This way, when you start looking back, you’ll remember only the good times, not those that tell you of a heartache.
2. Go out.
Another way to forget someone you love is by going out. Literally. Wear your sneakers and start walking, even just around your neighborhood. This is because the longer you wallow indoors; the more time you spend thinking about a past that’s never coming back. You can only set yourself free by taking the initiative to do so.
Start walking. Enjoy the sights, the traffic, the busy streets, and smile at the people you meet along the way. For a moment or two, you’ll forget about that person who broke your heart. The longer your mind gets preoccupied with these simple encounters, the farther you get away from those memories you have so been wanting to forget.
3. Allow yourself to be shocked.
One reason you don’t want to forget is because you have developed a feeling of certainty towards your painful memories. You’ve started using them as your shield against the exciting things that are headed your way, all because you think you’ll just end up hurt.
Instead of hiding under a shell, allow yourself to be surprised, scared, and shocked. Take a ride on the rollercoaster and scream to your heart’s delight. Your brain needs this as well, as the feeling of surprise allows it to generate new brain cells and reminds you that what Cher says is true: there is life after love.
4. Talk about your memories.
People often write about the things they recall, so that they could keep them. Meanwhile, if you are trying to forget, then it would be best that you don’t write about them. Rather, talk about the things you remember.
This is because unlike writing where you can flip through the pages in case you are starting to miss some important highlights, talking about your memories out loud isn’t recorded. The more you discuss these recollections verbally, the lesser the details you mention, the lesser the emotions you feel, the lesser the weight you carry. Do this until such time that you could no longer recall the diner where you had your first date or how it rained when you two broke up.
It’s because when the essence of the memories has already faded, the entire recollection no longer matters to you as well.
5. Put away all the physical evidence of your memories.
In her song “The Art of Letting Go,” American singer Mikaila tells us to “put away the pictures, put away the memories,” that she’s been “putting over and over through her tears.”
Her advice is indeed helpful because while the memories are mental pictures stored in the brains, physical evidence such as pictures and videos only amplify their effects and trigger our emotions. Thus, if you are keen on forgetting this person you love due to heartache, then it would be best to keep the visuals away for a while.
It’s not that you are bitter with the end of your romance; you just need to give your mind and hear the space to recover and get back to normal. When the right time comes, you can go through these items again and no longer remember the feelings that made them special.
6. Pray for inner peace.
When all else fails, you only one resort left, and that’s to pray. Praying is an effective means to calm yourself amidst this emotional journey of getting over the person you love. This is because through praying, you get the quiet time you deserve. You also get to whisper your qualms and wishes to God, and through his divine intervention, you are able to see life from a different perspective.
It is also through praying that you are able to thank love for stopping by even for just a short while. By doing this, you also release all the negative energy you’ve been holding against the heartbreak you’ve experienced and the person you lost.
While praying may not be a direct means to forget, it helps you become more open to new adventures in life and not keep yourself with the “what-ifs” and other regrets you’ve nurtured after getting hurt coping with the loss.
Getting your heart broken is normal. Losing someone you love is common. But people, feelings, and experiences all come and go. Instead of harboring ill feelings, thank them for being part of your past, so that you become more capable not only of forgetting, but welcoming a new chapter in life that’s more colorful and more fulfilling to celebrate.