Picture this: you’re in your room with the air conditioner on full blast, the lights are turned off, and there are about five blankets wrapped around you. Your eyes are sagging and puffy from crying for the third night in a row, there’s a half-finished pint of chocolate in your arms, a sitcom playing on your laptop, and your phone buzzing with all the unread messages from last week.
Yes, folks, this is how a breakup looks like. It’s not pretty, is it? But then, you suddenly stand up with this new found feeling of purpose in your chest. You can’t be like this forever, so how do you forget your ex and move on? Luckily for you, we have the eight best ways to do just that:
1. Throw away the stuff he gave you.
Do a survey around your room and pick out every single thing that he gave you and throw it out. Even the receipts of the first ever movie that you saw together, take it out and chuck it down the bin! The relationship is over so there’s no point clinging to things that will only remind you of the past
Although it’s hard and even nearly impossible to do this, you have to do it. You need to learn how to let things go because sometimes it’s better for you in the long run even if it will hurt a bit in the start. This is your first step on your journey to moving on.
2. Delete all your pictures of him.
After throwing all his gifts in the trash, open your buzzing phone, and finally read those messages from last week. After that, go to your phone’s gallery and delete your pictures of him and the two of you together.
It may be tempting to keep those but you will only hurt yourself further during the process. If there’s still anything that reminds you of him in your room, your phone, or even your mind, you will not be able to move on.
3. Don’t lock yourself in your room.
Loneliness is a killer so please don’t lock yourself up in your room. Open your windows and take a good look outside. The world moves on without you so you have to keep up with it! You can’t be stuck in your room moping forever until crows turn white.
Take a long hot shower, as much as you need, dress in yourself in the most comfortable way, and then go outside. You don’t know where to go? That’s the best part! Why not start at that store you’ve always wanted to go to?
4. Try picking up a hobby.
Now that you’ve got all this free time, you have an excuse to pick up a new hobby! Pick your dusty paintbrushes, take up knitting, try out martial arts, or even take a Spanish class. Whatever you want to do, go do it, this is your time to make yourself a better person than before.
This is also the best way to keep your mind occupied and away from the person who broke your heart. The more your time is filled the better and easier it is for you to move on.
5. Fill your time with exercise.
What’s the best way to get back up from a break-up? Having a great body of course! Don’t let this sad situation get you down and tempt you to binge-eat all your favorite foods. Instead, look at this as an opportunity for you to bloom and become an even better person.
Besides, it’s already proven that exercise helps you release hormones called endorphins which will make you naturally happier! The best thing is that after a few months of push-ups, you’re rocking a great bod, and you see your ex down the street, you’ll be able to strut your stuff with confidence!
6. Think about the bad times.
While this is not recommended, it’s also very helpful. If you want to move on quickly, then it’s best to think about the bad things he did or the flaws he has instead of focusing on your sweet memories together. This is to help you think that you’re better off without him anyway.
The catch here is that for you not falling into a deep well of negativity. Remember, never dwell on what happened in the past especially if it’s an unsavory experience. Just pump yourself up and remind yourself that you’re so much happier and better now than ever before.
7. Treat yourself to an occasional binge-eat.
We know we said that it’s not entirely good to fall into a long binge-eating frenzy, but it wouldn’t hurt to treat yourself to an occasional one. Take the day off and visit your favorite restaurants, eat your favorite foods, and don’t be afraid to pig out every once in a while.
You deserve to feel full and satisfied. You also deserve to be happy even when it comes to food. Just remember to pick yourself up with the exercise once you’re done with your feast!
8. Hang out more with your friends.
Another best way to get over a break-up is to hang out with your friends. If they invite you out, don’t decline it and the best of friends will go their way to help you, drag you out of your room, and treat you to a nice day out.
Trash talk your ex with your friends if you have to and do anything to get your mind off the negative things. Have fun and enjoy while you’re still young!
Now, these are just steps to help and make you feel better about yourself. The way you move on is entirely up to you. Take all the time you need but also make sure to take care of yourself. The worst way is when you forget about yourself and allow your mind and body to rot away.
This is the situation now, you have to face it and accept it. Oftentimes, we don’t like change because we crave the stability we had with our ex-partners, but it’s time to move on. You’re a strong person and you can do it!
8 Ways to Make Her Feel More Secure
Is your wife getting paranoid about your loyalty? Has she been doubting your fidelity or do you find it hard to get her trust? Well, probably it is because she feels insecure in your marriage. Her insecurity could be the result of trust issues brought by painful experiences—or you probably have broken her trust before.
Check out these ways on how you can make your wife feel more secure and have a healthier marriage:
1. Be transparent always.
The best way to remove the doubt from your wife’s mind is by being transparent to her about everything. Yes, this could be a bit toxic if you are not used to sharing your privacy with others. However, please be reminded that the moment you married her, you two became one. This means she now has the right to know everything about you.
Transparency involves letting her know your password to every social media account you have—and your phone, of course. Anyway, if you have nothing to hide from her, then this would not be a big deal.
2. Flex her on social media.
Yes, women are paranoid—and they easily become suspicious about every little thing—including why their men would not flaunt them on Facebook or Instagram. As you know, most women are expressive on social media. If they are proud of their relationship, then they are most likely to post about it. Now, they expect the same thing from their partners.
Well, you do not have to post any cheesy messages or photos about your marriage or your wife if you are not comfortable with it. However, I think there would not be any problem if you indicate on your relationship status that you are married to her, or if you add couple or family photos in which you are together. What matters to her is that she does not feel being hidden.
3. Introduce her to your friends and colleagues.
Another way to make your wife secure is by letting her meet the people you come in contact with every day. It would be hard for her to trust you going out with people she does not know, thinking some of them could be a bad influence on you.
Introducing your wife to your friends and workmates will help her a lot to trust you. If she sees that these people you hang out with are trustworthy, then she will let loose. She would stop being suspicious of them.
4. Do not stay out late if not necessary.
A lot of temptations could come to a man if he is still out of his home in the wee hours of the night, especially if he is out on parties and night-outs. This is the usual fear of wives. As you enjoy the night, you probably have no idea how worried she is, thinking you could be with someone else already.
To avoid this kind of paranoia, avoid staying out late at night with friends or whoever unless it is very necessary. You could still go out with friends, but set a time limit for yourself. Be firm in setting a curfew, not just for you but for everyone who’s part of your household as well. This will save your family from a lot of headaches, especially when your children get older.
5. Stay sweet and romantic with her.
Women are very sensitive. They would immediately feel if you start being cold towards them. If your wife senses that you are not sweet towards her anymore, then she might be thinking that you are in love with someone else.
To keep your wife secure with your love for her, never take her for granted. The longer you have been together, the more that you should exert effort in keeping your passion for each other alive. Date with her regularly, shower her with hugs and kisses, and tell her “I love you” always.
6. Always assure her that you love her.
Sometimes, the reason a wife doubts her husband’s loyalty is because she does not feel loved anymore. It makes her think that he already wants somebody else.
Sincerely saying “I love you” to your wife daily would help a lot in keeping her mind at peace. Tell her this with a kiss and a tight hug. Say it in the sweetest way possible. The more that you make her feel loved, the more that she will be secure with you.
7. Set boundaries in your friendship with the opposite sex.
It is not bad to be friends with other women. However, as a respect to your wife, you should limit your interaction with them, whether your wife is around or not. If your wife sees that you are too friendly—to the point of being sweet or touchy—with other women, then it would ring an alarm in her brain.
Help your wife trust you even in the company of other women. As a married gentleman, set a limitation on how you should treat other ladies. One thing you can do is to bring your wife with you whenever you have to meet women friends. Also, never spend time with another woman alone.
8. Never lie to her.
Trust is the strongest foundation of security in a relationship. Once it is broken, it would be hard to mend it. For this reason, make every effort not to break your wife’s trust. Never lie to her, no matter how small it is. When she finds out, it would be difficult for her to believe you again.
Being honest with your wife about everything will help seal her trust in you. Even if you have committed a mistake, confess it to her immediately. It would be harder if she finds it out through someone else. She may get mad at you, but at least your honesty reveals how repentant you are. She would be assured that you are not hiding anything from her.
Afraid to Lose You
If your wife is insecure about your marriage and she seems so upset about it, then it means she truly loves you. Her paranoia or anxiety is just the result of her fear of losing you. If you love her, then protect her from these unnecessary worries. Give her no reason to be afraid.
15 Easy Ways to Make Your Wife Feel Special
Do you want to keep the love alive in your marriage? Are you looking for ways to be a better husband to your wife? If you are on your way to enhancing your hubby skills, then check out these simple tips below on how you can make your wife feel special.
1. Prepare her breakfast.
Most of the time, the wives are the ones who get up early to prepare the meals every morning. Now, what if you surprise her by waking up earlier than usual? Then, cook a hearty breakfast for her—and the kids, if you already have. If you want it to make it sweeter, you can bring her breakfast in bed.
2. Help her with the house chores.
Nothing would your wife appreciate more than your initiative to help her tidy up the mess in your house and keep everything in order. In case your wife does everything at home, why not start sharing her burden? You can volunteer to do the laundry, mop the floor, and even put the kids in bed.
3. Surprise her with chocolates and other treats.
Naturally, women have a sweet tooth. So, unless your wife is watching her figure, surprise her with chocolates and other desserts from time to time. Expect showers of kisses from her whenever you do this.
4. Leave sticky notes of sweet messages everywhere.
Gone are the days of love letters. However, you can still give her that cheesy experience by leaving short but sweet messages for her around the house. You can post a sticky note on the mirror, telling her you cannot wait to see her again at the end of the day. Leaving one on the fridge that reminds her not to tire herself out would also make your wifey smile.
5. Caress her hair until she falls asleep.
Aside from cuddling in bed, this is another romantic gesture that you can indulge your wife with. This will not only help her relax and be lulled to sleep, but it will also give her a feeling of security.
6. Shower her with hugs.
According to research, a hug is an effective stress reliever. Thus, if you know your wife is constantly bombarded with stress at work, or she is trying to juggle being a homemaker and a career woman daily, help her out with hugs. Give her as many hugs as possible in a day. Or at least, embrace her when you wake up and before going to sleep, and when you are about to leave for work and upon coming home.
7. Remind her always that she is beautiful.
Nothing would make a woman feel more special than being told to be the most beautiful in someone’s eyes. Therefore, even if her hair is messy or she is not wearing makeup, assure her that she is still the loveliest woman for you. This would also help her overcome insecurities with her body, especially if she has gained weight from giving birth to your kids.
8. Tell her you love her every day.
Never let a day pass by without telling your wife how much you love her. You can whisper it in her ear as you tell her goodnight, or you can say it with a kiss when you wake up in the morning. Hopefully, though, you always say this with passion—not just as a routine expression.
9. Hold her hand in the public.
Holding your wife’s hand in the public is like telling the world that you are proud of her. Just imagine if you were your wife—surely, this would make you feel the proudest woman in the world.
10. Massage her feet.
If your wife constantly complains about aching feet and toes from wearing high-heeled shoes at work, she would be surely grateful for a massage. This is a simple treat that you do not have to spend much on.
11. Give her a day off.
It is not easy being a wife, especially if she has a regular job too. Every day, she has to balance her roles of being a wife to you, a mom to your kids, and a career woman. Therefore, to let your partner know that you see her hard work and care about her welfare, give her time to pamper herself. On a weekend, allow her to see her friends, visit the spa, or simply sleep the entire day.
12. Appreciate her efforts.
In connection with no. 11, do not forget to let your wife know how much you appreciate her. Tell her you love her cooking. Thank her for being the best mom to your kids. Compliment her new hair, dress, or any effort she does to take care of herself.
13. Do not forget your special days.
A thoughtful man is a woman’s weakness. If you want to keep your wife in love with you, then initiate celebrating special dates, such as your wedding anniversary and her birthday. You can plan a holiday trip for two or just bring her to a special restaurant. Or if the budget is tight, at least you can surprise her with a bouquet of roses.
14. Serenade her with love songs.
You do not need to have Ed Sheeran’s voice to melt your wife’s heart with a song. Help her reminisce about how your love story started. Do this by serenading her with the songs you have been singing together or those you dedicated to her. With guitar props, sing these songs to her like you mean every word.
15. Tell her how blessed you are for having her as your wife.
No need for flowery words. Just sincerely tell your wife how blessed you are for ending up with her. Assure her that even if you would be given the chance to turn back time and rearrange your life, you would still find and choose her.
Treat Her Like A Queen
Women are not very hard to please. If you want to make her feel special, just take good care of her. Be considerate and gentle with her, even though sometimes she is hard to understand. Serve her in simple ways like how you would treat a queen. If you do this, be ready to be pampered like a king in return.