What makes a good man in a relationship? The answers to this question definitely vary, as each of us has a different concept of a “good” or “ideal” guy. But men change some of their behaviors and attributes whenever they are in a relationship, as unlike when they are single, they have to look after someone and something, i.e. their girlfriend and the relationship they share.
But apart from individual concepts and ideals, there are traits that make a man fit in the “good” category when in a relationship. In case you are still looking for that “good guy,” then here are some qualities to look for:
1. He observes chivalry.
You have a good guy when he continues to practice chivalry. This means he takes the effort to open the door for you, or assist you when getting out of the car, holding your hand while you two are walking on the street, and lends a hand in carrying your things.
These may be little things but seeing his initiative to do to those actions means that he truly cares for you and that he knows you deserve nothing but the best. His intentions reflect in his actions, more than the presents and fancy promises most girls want to hear from their boyfriends.
2. He knows how to be patient with you.
Another quality of a good guy in a relationship is when he knows not to tick you off. While it is common that you two experience arguments and misunderstandings, he would take the effort to be patient with you. He wouldn’t push you to your limit or test your temper because he knows these do not help resolve your problems.
He would give you space when you need it, but at the same time, he is on standby mode, meaning he is ready to come to you once you say so.
3. He supports your aspirations.
A lot of men find it difficult to accept when their girlfriends are doing better than them. This may be due to their pride getting hurt, or they think that it reduces their manliness. However, real guys don’t think about this anymore. Rather, they are supportive of their girlfriends’ dreams and aspirations, even if they are not part of building these dreams.
A man who is able to do this is someone who respects and values your individuality. Having this kind of man for a boyfriend is an indicator that you have a keeper.
4. He is emotionally smart.
Emotional intelligence is very important in a relationship, as this gauges your man’s ability to handle situations that test his patience and levelheadedness. You may want to date a guy who knows where and how to position his feelings during certain situations, and would think first before making a drastic action. Also, when a guy is emotionally smart, he would prioritize your feelings and welfare first before his, all because he loves and values you.
5. He is also street smart.
Aside from being emotionally smart, it pays to have a boyfriend who is street smart. This means he can be depended on during unexpected situations; he can troubleshoot issues or find workarounds in order to keep you happy.
This doesn’t mean, however, that he will move heaven and earth for you. Being street smart means he knows how to defend you during emergency situations, find ways to keep you safe, and not make you worry.
6. He listens.
Another great trait to look for in a guy you intend to have a relationship with is his ability to listen. He must be able to not just hear you, but go beyond your words and understand your feelings. He may not always understand what you say, but he lends both ears when you need someone to vent your feelings on, or when you want to get your point across even if your emotions eat the best of you.
And yes, when he knows how to listen, he doesn’t retaliate by talking back. He allows you to speak your thoughts and emotions, no matter how scathing they are. He will talk only when you truly need his opinion, and not to shut you up.
7. He celebrates your wins.
You also know you have a great guy when he knows how to celebrate your wins. He is always proud of you and even more when you achieve success in your career and in your passion. He would brag about you to his family and friends, and would be there for you at all times to show his support.
He would also not feel intimidated (or at least keep the intimidation to himself) when it seems like you’ve achieved more than he ever did. He would also not take it against you if you have achieved your dreams without his help or his presence being your source of inspiration. In essence, when it comes to living your life as an individual, he wouldn’t step in the way.
8. He respects your beliefs and shares your values.
You may fall in love with a guy who doesn’t practice the same faith as yours, but if he knows how to respect your beliefs and even shares the values and principles you adhere to, then it’s a sign that your relationship is going to work. This is because relationships, and eventually marriage, is built on compromise, not just of love and romance. If you two can meet each other halfway and respect each other’s individual beliefs, traditions, and values, then your relationship will have a long way to go.
9. He cares for your family.
He may not be under the same faith or share the same practice your family does, but if he takes the effort to gain their respect, then he’s definitely a catch. This is because he sees that love knows no boundaries, not even of faith and tradition, and he’d do everything to make your relationship work, starting with caring for your family. He’d even encourage you to bond more with your loved ones because that’s what family is about.
When a man truly loves you, he will not only show these qualities, but he will take the extra effort to practice these qualities to heart. This is because he knows that these take part in making your relationship last for the long term.