Slip the following magic phrases into your conversations to build trust not only between your friends and family, but also with your coworkers.
“I’m all ears”
Telling someone “I’m all ears” is the first step, but to really make this effective you have to follow through. This statement ensures you’re holding yourself accountable for listening intently when someone is speaking to you.
However, learn to match your body language to the level of engagement you want to reflect in the conversation and make sure to acknowledge their ideas.
“Sorry about the traffic”
A study in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science found that participants were quicker to trust people who started a conversation by apologizing for something they weren’t responsible for. By issuing a superfluous apology, you acknowledge someone else’s misfortune and express sympathy.
“Hi! You’re looking…”
Don’t just ask friends and coworkers an insincere “How are you?” while you walk past them. Pause and take a moment to comment on their appearance, whether they look happy, sad, or sick.
There is a high chance that You will spark a conversation about the weekend plans they’re looking forward to or the sick child they’re taking care of. Instead of making small talk, “it’s a much deeper conversation, but people almost always respond well to it, as it builds that emotional tie.
“I understand what you’re saying”
Even if you disagree with someone’s views, show them you respect their beliefs with a phrase like “I appreciate your opinion” before trying to change their mind. You can then proceed to provide an example that supports their perspective before transitioning the conversation to your perspective.
By doing this, they will feel less criticized and will be more open to trusting what you have to say.
“In my opinion…”
When you’re about to share that dissenting opinion, you can move between showing you want to understand the other perspective and your take on the subject. Phrases like “in my opinion” and “others suggest” make you seem more open to other opinions than “I” statements.
Also avoid saying “actually” and “in your opinion,” which imply the other person is wrong.
“How did you think that went?”
When starting a conversation about how someone could improve, let people gauge their success by their own standards. Starting with your own judgments could make the other person clam up and share less information.
Let them decide how successful it was and what they want to talk about. If you put a judgment on it and ask what they can do better, it puts that person on the defenses.
“What can I do differently?”
Asking this question lets others know you’re open to positive change and not set in old and potentially ineffective ways. In order to build a positive team mentality, you should show that you are willing to make changes to help others out when needed.
Not only can this mentality help out a team working to achieve a goal, it also shows that you possess the motivation for self-development.
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